Divorce is one of the hardest experiences you can go through, and it can leave deep emotional scars. The healing process after divorce looks different for everyone, but there are processes that everyone can do to work through the challenges that come with this life transition.
Here are 5 things to consider when adjusting after a divorce:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings
Divorces happen for many different reasons. Whether the decision came from you, your partner, or was mutual, you could still feel a whole range of emotions like anger, hurt, betrayal, remorse, fear, or even relief.
Whatever your feelings, take time to recognize them and talk them through with trusted family, friends, or a mental health practitioner.
Here are some tips to keep in mind:
- This isn’t a time to justify anyone’s actions, make harsh judgments, or play the blame game. While venting and expressing negative emotions is healthy, try to talk about why you’re feeling the way you are and if there’s anything to be done about those emotions.
- The more you talk about your feelings, the more you’ll be able to process them and move on.
- Hang tight to your support system. No one wants to feel alone when going through a big life change like divorce, but many people attempt to face it by themselves. Don’t! This can lead to isolation and depression, which can make moving forward much harder than it needs to be.
- Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms
It can be extremely hard to remember your physical well-being when your emotions seem to be taking up all of your energy. This is especially hard if you’re experiencing financial pressure after a divorce, but remembering to find healthy coping mechanisms will help all other aspects of your post-divorce life.
Here are some of the healthy coping mechanisms that can help ease post-divorce life.
Pay attention to your body.
This can be anything from taking more frequent walks to eating healthier or working out at home or the gym. Taking care of your body will help improve your mood and make it easier for you to deal with stressors in the future.
Find ways to relax.
Whether on your own or with the help of a therapist, relaxation therapies like yoga, meditation, aromatherapy, and listening to music can all help you reduce stress levels so that you can better face life’s challenges head-on.
Give back.
Volunteering is an excellent way to connect with others who are facing similar circumstances as you are. Not only will you feel good about your decision to volunteer your time, but it will also allow you to learn more about other people’s experiences and how they cope with challenges. It’s also a great way to get out into the world and meet new people who are positive influences in your life.
- Reconnect or Build New Relationships
Maybe there’s a friend you’ve lost touch with or perhaps you can create new relationships with people who are more encouraging now that your life has changed.
After a divorce, it can be easy to feel alone or disconnected from other people. Social isolation is one of the most common struggles for post-divorce individuals because they no longer have their partner by their side and that creates a void where there used to be companionship and routine.
Reconnecting or rediscovering applies to yourself as well. What old passions or interests could be rekindled? Have you always wanted to join a pottery class but never had the time? Creating a few simple goals (without overwhelming yourself) can bring new energy and satisfaction to your life.
- Protect Your Self-Esteem
When you’ve been a part of a “we” for so long, it can be hard to understand your self-identity.
You may have made decisions that you regret, but if your partner decided that they wanted a divorce, it does not mean that you weren’t enough. These feelings are difficult to understand and we highly encourage receiving help from licensed professionals to work through those emotions.
While your circumstances are different, it doesn’t change what you have to offer to your other relationships.
- Make a list of attributes, skills, and strengths that you have.
- Ask the people around you what they love and appreciate most about you.
- Remember that relationships are a two-way street and both people have to make an effort for them to work.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
With all of the emotional strain that comes from a divorce, you might also find yourself under financial pressure or with the challenge of balancing child custody. Learning to ask for help can make all of these issues easier to bear.
You may feel embarrassed about the situation you are in, but it’s important that you don’t let pride get in your way. The people who love and care about you want to help you through this difficult time. Be clear with people what you’re willing to talk about and ways that they can best help you.
Final Thoughts
Keeping these 5 tips in mind can help you to make it through this life-changing transition. Divorce is hard—there’s no way around the challenges it brings—but you will find ways to fill the space left by your partner.
A divorce lawyer who is going to advocate for you and offer expert support during this difficult time is essential. If you’re looking for a divorce lawyer in Orange County, please reach out to us at Monarch Family Law. We have years of experience helping people through divorce and we can help you too.
